Assisting Someone Else

How to help others:
It can be challenging to be prepared when someone tells you that they’ve experienced sexual
harassment or violence. Below are some suggestions on how to respond and support.


Recognize:
Sometimes someone may not disclose information to you, but you may notice changes in their behavior that suggest something might be wrong:
• Uncharacteristic behavior
• Changes in class attendance
• Withdrawal from activities
• Asking not to be near a particular person
• Increased risk-taking

Table of Contents

Respond:
If someone tells you that they have experienced sexual harassment or violence:
• Acknowledge: Thank them for trusting you and acknowledge their feelings.
• Listen: Give them your complete attention and try not to interrupt. Use empathetic
listening and ask things like, “What can I do to support you?” and “What can I do to help you right now?”
• Support: Let them know that you want to make sure they’re safe and offer them nonjudgmental support. Offer to accompany them or make a phone call to connect them with resources. Be careful not to touch them without their permission.
• Be patient: Be careful not to ask what happened, ask for details, or compare/discuss your personal experience. Don’t offer easy answers like, “Everything will be alright” or “Just move on.” Each individual moves at their own pace.


Respect:
• Respect their privacy. Don’t tell friends, classmates, or colleagues what happened.
• If you do need to share information for their safety, or because of a reporting obligation, let them know this.
• Respect their experience. Don’t question whether they are telling the truth, say that you know what they’re going through, or ask for details about the incident.
• Don’t ask questions that suggest blame, such as “Why were you drinking?” or “Why didn’t you get help sooner?”
• Respect their autonomy and their decisions regarding what they want (or don’t want) to do. Don’t give advice or insist that they use any particular option (such as going to the police).


Encourage:

Encourage them to seek medical attention, report the incident, and/or contact confidential resources.


Refer:

You are not expected to have all of the answers, and it is not your responsibility to fix the problem or determine what occurred. An important part of being helpful is providing the individual with information about options and resources. Please refer individuals to the resources and other options detailed in this Resource Guide. Don’t investigate on your own.
And be sure to report to the Title IX Coordinator if required under the Reporting Obligation section.


Get support for yourself:

Sometimes friends and family of victims can also feel the impact of the incident. Hearing about sexual assault, dating or domestic violence, and stalking can be upsetting. You may want to utilize resources and support for yourself. The resources listed in the next section are available for parties, witnesses, and impacted individuals as well.